15 Months

It's hard to believe, but Lydia is 15 months old today.  I can't believe that this crazy, hilarious, sweet little girl has been in our family for 15 months now!

Lydia has quite a sense of humor these days.  She will pretty much do anything for a laugh.  Some of her favorite things are "jumping," imitating her brother and sister, "washing" her hands when I wash mine, giving hugs and kisses (wet, open mouthed kisses), clapping when Who Wants to be a Millionaire comes on, dancing along to Just Dance, and getting really excited whenever Daddy turns on the Xbox.

She is most definitely a Daddy's Girl.  When Daddy walks in that door at the end of the work day, Mommy is nothing more than chopped liver. 

On this her 15 month birthday, she has now gone 3 days without nursing, and I must say, I have mixed feelings.  While I am glad to no longer be so completely physically attached to her as I had to be when she was an infant, I really miss that cuddle time between just her and me.  I miss looking down at her sweet little face as she would lie there nursing to sleep while playing with her hair and looking back at me.  I don't miss getting kicked in the head, having my hair pulled, or having my lip ripped off by her sharp-fingernailed hands.  I don't miss engorgement, clogged ducts, and not being able to go to bed without a bra on. 

But I am going to miss the daily nursing sessions, for sure.  Probably because I don't know if we'll ever have another baby.  I don't know if I'll ever again have a chance to nurse a baby.  I don't know if that chapter of life has come to a temporary end or a permanent end.  Honestly, it makes me sad to think that I may never nurse another baby, or carry another baby in my womb.  All I can do is trust that no matter what, God knows what is right for our family, whether that is the three children we have, or whether there is another one he is hanging onto for us.  He knows better than we do.