It has been almost a week since I worked my last shift outside of the home, and I have noticed a few things in the last week about myself and our family.
1. It takes 0.7 seconds of the 2 year old shrieking at "that frequency" to immediately put my stress level to an 11. You know "that frequency," moms. The one that you think is going to make the windows shatter and your eardrums rupture. This shriek is usually brought on by her big brother or sister messing with her.
2. It is very easy for me as the stay at home parent to resent the time that John gets to spend outside of the home now that I don't have work or other obligations in the evening. It's very easy to be resentful when he wants to go out for a drink after work or go to golf league when I've already spent many, MANY hours non-stop taking care of these kids.
3. It's also very easy for the work out of the home parent to take the stay at home parent for granted or to wonder what the stay at home parent did all day. So much of the day to day work in the home is "invisible" in a sense. There is so much time spent picking up or doing dishes or doing laundry or cleaning bathrooms or just keeping kids from killing each other that there's not much time left to devote to "getting ahead" on the organization or what have you. I have many projects that I want to accomplish over the summer, but I'm trying to get us all into a routine at this point. Which leads me to.....
4. I have to have a routine or the day gets away from us. Right now we try to all be up and dressed and fed by 8:00 am, outside play between 8:00 and 10:00, errands or indoor fun (library, housework, etc) between 10:00 and 11:30, lunch from 11:30 to 12:00, naps from 12:00 to 2:30 or 3:00, outside play again from 3:00 to 4:30, dinner prep at 4:30 and dinner by 5:30. Then evenings are family time or time for me to do my "work" and craft projects or catch up anything that I couldn't get done during naps. It's not perfect, but it's a start.
5. No matter how good the routine is, there are still not enough hours in the day.
6. Taking 3 kids out in public can be a challenge when only 1 adult is involved. For instance, the library this week was a good reminder of this. I only had 24 minutes on the parking meter, needed to find some books for the kids, and wanted to just quickly get it done. I told the two oldest to watch the two year old and play with her in the play area. Two minutes later, the children's librarian was walking toward me with my crying toddler who was mad (and a little scared) because she had been thwarted from walking out the front door to the busy street. So much for the big siblings helping out. Then on the way out, with my hands and arms very full, I tried counting all 3 kids and couldn't find the toddler again. My friends who were walking out at the same time giggled as the older two said, "Mom! You're holding her!!!" Apparently I can't count to 3 under stress.
7. I need to save money in my grocery budget weekly for cheap wine or really good rum. Either one. I have no shame.
8. I need to have a few hours each week to do something by myself, that doesn't include grocery shopping or running errands. Preferably it will include going to Adoration or taking a walk BY MYSELF. When the school year starts up again it will definitely include helping the RCIA program again. It really feeds my soul.
9. John and I need date nights at least once a month. Even if it's just a "wine and cheese" night at home when the kids go to bed. We need that time to reconnect at least a few times a month.
10. And finally, we know we made the best decision for our family. What we should have known, however, was that we would be tested immediately. Not even a week out from me leaving my job, we just found out yesterday that John's truck needed over $2100 in parts and labor. I told him we should have known this would happen since we were set to pay off one of the credit cards this month. So much for that, I guess. He likened it to digging a hole in quicksand. I think that's about right.
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