Goals

Goals.....I've never been good at them. I usually make some really easy goal that means nothing, or it's something so outlandish, so outrageous, and so impossible it will never happen. I don't know how to make good S.M.A.R.T. Goals (yes, it's a work reference). Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Know the goal, be able to measure it, be able to reach the goal, and have a timeline. Sounds simple enough. So why do I fail miserably at making goals?

I know exactly why I suck at making goals. One word--FEAR. Fear of failure, and fear of success. If I don't try I can't fail. If i don't try, I also can't succeed. Both serve their purposes. I can't look ridiculous for trying something and failing miserably. I also don't have to get out of my comfort zone and leave the lovely confines of my safety net and actually do something with my life. It's pathetic really. I get to sit here and complain about the state of my life and how unhappy I am with a lot of my current situations, and don't actually have to take the leap to make anything better of it, because God forbid I fail, or even worse, succeed at changing my current state.

Well, I'm bound and determined to make good changes in my life. This is going to be the year that I take the demons off the shelf, dust them off, kick them around on the floor for awhile, and send them off to the city dump. I'm tired of being the poster child for the saying, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got."

My first goal is to run in the HON 5K this year. Well, running is a bit of a stretch. Most grown adults could walk faster than I can run. But I'm going to do it just to prove to myself that I can set a goal for myself and actually achieve it. It may take me twice as long as everyone else to finish the race, but I'm going to step over that finish line if it kills me, and it just might, because good Lord, I'm out of shape. :)

So I found a running plan online called "Couch to 5K." It's a way to start off slowly and build up the muscles and bones to be able to run. It's a two month program, coincidentally the same amount of time until the HON 5K. You are supposed to run 3 times per week following their program of running and walking intervals that gradually get longer in running and shorter in walking until you build up to being able to run the 3 miles.

Tonight was my first night doing the run/walk training. The goal for week 1 is to start with a 5 minute moderate walk followed by 25 minutes of intervals. The intervals for week 1 are running for 60 seconds followed by walking for 90 seconds. This sounds deceptively simple, unless you are like me and are completely out of shape and about 50 pounds overweight. I came out of the gate pretty well. After almost losing my pants, I pulled off the first 6o seconds, and loved the 90 second walking break. The second 60 seconds was a little tougher. The third 60 seconds turned into more of about 45 seconds of running and two minutes of walking. I kept it up the best I could. I'm sure I didn't quite do all of the running I was supposed to, but I got out there and did it which is more than I can say for yesterday or the day before that or the years and years before that.

As I was tiredly walking the last few minutes home, I started to think about how running is a lot like life itself. I'm sure many people much smarter than me have already thought this theory over better than I ever could. But here's what I came up with.

Running consists of several different components--the right gear (shoes, clothes, etc.), the warm-up, the running, the walking, the cool down, and the obstacles. I'm sure there are many other components, but I'm a beginner, okay? Life is kind of similar. You are born. Your parents try to equip you for adulthood with morals, values, maybe some church exposure, some tough love, and lots of lessons learned. Kind of like heading into the race with the right gear, right? Then there is the warm up, that time where they are raising you, you are living at home, you are under their thumbs, thinking they don't know anything and that they're just holding you back, delaying you from starting your race. (If most of us knew what adulthood had in store for us, we'd never grow up and leave the house.) Then when you're all warmed up you take off, straight out of the gates. Hopefully you have enough self control to take it at a good pace, not an all out sprint. You run along, excited for your new-found freedom. Then you start to grow tired. The real world wears on you. You start to walk. You run and you walk. You hit a few hills. Oh Lord, the hills. This to me seems kind of like everyday life. You dash through the good times when things are fun and things are going well for you. Then things start to get mundane, the days wear on you, and you grow weary from climbing the hills. You start to walk. Sometimes you trudge along through the hills and the valleys, and other times you stand on the mountain tops and dance. But you keep walking until you reach the finish line.

As I was walking I noticed that I would run, short as it was, and it would make me tired, so I would walk. When I was too tired to walk, I would stop. I might sit. But I always got up and started walking again. Maybe the times between running were farther apart. Maybe I didn't run anymore for the day. But I kept walking. I always went back to walking. Kind of like in life, we have the great times (running), the normal times (walking), and the hard times where we stop or even sit down. None of these parts of the race are any better or worse than the others. They all have their time and place. You can't run all the time, you can't walk all the time, and you can't sit all the time. But you do have to keep pressing on, knowing that everyday holds a new journey.

All you can do is hope that you have the right equipment and the endurance to keep going. As I was thinking about running the race, I was reminded of a few Bible verses from the apostle Paul. That man knew some stuff about "running the race." In his letter to the Phillipians (3:12-14), he says, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Talk about knowing how to set S.M.A.R.T. goals! Forget about the crap behind you. To quote Walt Disney, "Keep moving forward!"

The other verse I was reminded of was 2 Timothy 4:6-8. Paul's second letter to Timothy, his protege, was written at the end of Paul's life. His execution was at hand. He knew he was at the end of his life. He knew it was the last time he would write to Timothy, and he wanted him to know he was not afraid. In the first five verses of the chapter h gives Timothy instructions on what to do to carry on his ministry. He then goes on to say, "For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

So here I am, making my way in the race, pressing on toward the goal. Hoping the finish the race. Hoping I have the right equiment to cross the finish line with my body and my faith still intact. Hoping that when I reach my final days I can say that I too have fought the good fight, that I have finished the race, and that I have kept the faith. I think God is going to use this journey as a new lesson for me. And I hope I'm ready for the ride.