Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Boy!

My dearest, sweet little boy--

Whenever I used to think about having children, I NEVER wanted a boy. Boys were a mystery to me. They always seemed smelly and ornery and just too darn busy for me. Girls just seemed easier, maybe because I am one. Now that you are in my life, I can't imagine not having a little silly boy.

You were the ultimate surprise. Daddy and I knew that we wanted to have another baby, we just weren't ready for it right then. I wasn't mentally ready for another 9 months of diabetes and who knew what else. We weren't financially ready yet. I took two pregnancy tests and still didn't quite believe that it was true. Daddy had to practically peel me off the walls that Sunday when we found out you were going to be a part of our lives.

You were a challenge right from the start. The diabetes kicked in at 11 weeks and I had to endure another 28 weeks of insulin injections, finger sticks, and countless doctor's appointments from that day on. My blood pressure got pretty high the last month of the pregnancy for some unknown reason. Your favorite position was head down with you feet pushing straight out my left side right under my ribs, which was quite uncomfortable. During the 2o week ultrasound you didn't want to cooperate. In fact, you were laying so funny the nurse couldn't even get any of the information she needed until we got you to move. You were laying breech with both feet up over your head. After a few minutes on my side, you rolled around and she was able to get what she needed. It was just a little taste of what an independent child you would be.

You have also been in quite a hurry right from the get go. Last year on the Friday right after Thanksgiving, you woke me up with some rather strong contractions. Daddy and Nana were getting ready to leave for Black Friday sales and I was going to stay home with your sister. I told them to go on and go, they were just going to be in town anyway. The contractions eventually subsided, but you were certainly being persistent. The next day we had to go the hospital for fetal monitoring because of the diabetes. Since it was a holiday the doctor's office was closed so we had to do it at the hospital. While we were there, my blood pressure was still high so they were just going to admit me. We were able to convince them to let us come back the next day after we'd made all the necessary preparations.

We went back the next day at 7:00 am and they hooked me up to the pitocin for a few hours to get you to drop into place. At noon, they broke my water, and barely two hours later, you were making your speedy arrival. In fact you were so speedy, I almost didn't make it back to the bed before you came out. You were quite possibly the easiest labor ever--two hours of contractions, and two pushes and my life would never be the same.

You have been the biggest joy and the biggest challenge. You were a challenge to get to sleep for the first six months. You are going to be a big challenge to break from your beloved pacifier. We will tell you "no" and you will shake your head right along with us, and smile and keep doing it. You cry like we broke your heart sometimes when we tell you know.

You are an incredibly sweet baby. You love to snuggle. You love to play with me. Your smile brightens even my worst day. I don't look forward to the day when you decide you are too cool for hugs and kisses from me. I wish I could freeze time for just a little while so I could hold onto this time.

My prayer for you as you grow is that you will grow up to be a strong man. A man of faith, and morals, and a man who treats a woman with respect. I want you to be a man who will lead your household as God has ordained a man to be. I pray that you will find a woman who loves you and respects you as well, and that you will be blessed in everything you do. I pray that you will be a leader and not a follower, and that you will follow your moral compass through life. You will have hurts and struggles, and I wish I could keep those from you, but I know that God will use those trials and tribulations to form you into the best man you can be.

Thomas Richard, you are my baby and my sweet little man. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You brighten my days and will cause me many sleepless nights in the future. I told your daddy when I was pregnant with you that "God must have big plans for this little guy, otherwise all this trouble and stress wouldn't be worth it." I think I was right about God having big plans for you. But I was wrong--you were totally worth it.

Love,
Mommy